The Power of 'No': Balancing Your Life One Decision at a Time

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Food for Thought

"By saying 'no,' I'm really saying 'yes' to the things that matter most. It's all about keeping my priorities straight and my stress low." - Dr. Judy Wright, Self-Affirmation

It’s planting season.  Picture this: a gardener with a green thumb and a big, beautiful garden. They're snipping away at the extra branches—not because they're bad, but because cutting them back helps the best parts of the garden thrive. That's kind of like us when we say 'no' to stuff. We're not being rude; we're just making sure we have the energy and time for the things that really count.

I think it is common understanding that folks who struggle to say 'no' are more likely to end up stressed out or even burned out.  But it is actually supported by multiple studies. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology in 2021 looked at healthcare workers during the COVID-19 pandemic and the link between burnout and work vs. non-work boundaries.  The study found that there was a definite increase in “boundary violations” that correlated with an increase in reports of “exhaustion, detachment, and inefficacy.” 

There are many reasons people find it difficult to put strong boundaries in place. A lot of us worry about looking selfish or missing out if we turn things down, but here’s the thing—saying 'no' is actually not about pushing people away. It's about making sure you’re not stretching yourself too thin.

Think about it this way: every time you say 'no,' you're really saying a big 'yes' to something else that’s important to you. You're keeping your life in line with what you really value and what makes you happy. Here’s how that looks in different parts of life:

• At Work: When you say 'no' to random extra projects that would be added to a bandwidth that is already bursting at the seams, you get to focus on nailing your main responsibilities. That’s how you knock it out of the park without wearing yourself out.
• With Family: It's okay to skip some family gatherings if it means you can recharge or spend more quality time with your kids or partner. Keeping the balance right means everyone benefits.
• To Opportunities: Sometimes a cool opportunity pops up, but the timing is all wrong. Saying 'no' for now doesn't mean forever—it means you’re sticking to your current commitments and keeping things manageable.

Now, we all know that ‘No’ is a complete sentence, as they say.  And I hope you now acknowledge that saying ‘No’ is not a bad thing. With that said, let’s acknowledge that it still can sound harsh to certain ears, on both the giving and receiving end. Here are some ideas on ways to say no that may sound more palatable:

1. When You're Too Busy: "I appreciate you thinking of me for this, but my schedule is packed right now, and I need to ensure I'm delivering quality on my current commitments. Let's touch base if something changes."
2. When You Need to Prioritize Other Tasks: "I'm flattered by the offer, but I have to pass this time as I'm focusing on some pressing projects that require my full attention. Can we revisit this at a later date?"
3. When You're Not Interested: "Thank you for considering me, but I'm going to say no. It’s not something I’m looking to take on right now. I'm sure there's someone better suited for this opportunity."
4. When You Want to Keep Relationships Intact: "I really appreciate the invite, and it sounds like a wonderful event, but I can’t commit at this moment. I value our relationship, so let's keep the communication open for future opportunities."
5. When You Need to Protect Your Personal Time: "I’m working on balancing my personal and professional time better, so I won’t be able to join this time around. Thank you for understanding, and I hope it’s a great success!"

Getting good at saying 'no' is a game changer. It’s not just about avoiding stuff, being mean, or not being a team player; it’s about making room for the best parts of your life to grow. And when you’re clear about what you can and can’t take on, people respect your time and energy more, which is good for everyone involved.

Try saying 'no' to something this week that doesn't quite fit with your goals or feels like it's too much. See how it feels, and let me know how it goes. Got any stories or tips about saying 'no'? Drop them in the comments. 

Next Masterclass is Up! Stress Ain't Normal!

Hey there! Our next Masterclass “Stress Ain’t Normal” is on May 20, 2024 at 6PM EST/ 3PM PST. Learn how to recognize the signs of being overwhelmed and simple steps to prevent burnout. 

Ready to take control of those stressful moments? Register now!

ABOUT DR. JUDY WRIGHT

Dr. Judy Wright is an authority in the field of health and wellness, stress management, and life balance, dedicated to empowering organizations and their employees to unlock their full potential and thrive abundantly. With over 20 years of experience, Dr. Wright is committed to showing leaders and professionals how to achieve optimal health and well-being.  Through her inspiring speaking engagements, panel discussions, and tailored professional and personal development workshops, she teaches strategies to manage stress, shift mindset, achieve life balance, and prioritize overall well-being.  This not only propels each individual, but also the organizations for which they work.  Dr. Wright has garnered wide respect for her holistic approach to overall health and wellness in both the medical and business community.

For further information on Dr. Wright’s work and to learn how she can best help you and your organization, she invites you to connect with her on LinkedIn and Instagram and check out her website at wellnesswithdrjudy.com.  You can also contact to her at info@judywrightmd.com.

Learn more about Dr. Judy and learn how wellness and life-balance can positively impact the growth of professionals and the companies they work for. Subscribe to The Steady State Newsletter for your bi-weekly dose of self affirmation, tips, and insights for harmonizing life's many demands.