The Power of Earned Confidence

Living in the “not now” may very well be the utmost source of unhappiness among us. We waste much of our adult lives tormenting ourselves overthinking about things that either are not happening nor ever will. Compounding the problem is that most of us do not realize how UNpresent we often are.

It wasn’t always this way. As kids, insulated from the complexities of adulthood, everything we experienced happened in a state of presence.  Could this be why the older we get, the faster time seems to pass?

Here’s the good news. Within you lies an ability that holds the power to counteract these tendencies and substantially enrich your life with immediate effect.

Among its many benefits, this ability can empower you to:

● Outsmart your worries, anxieties, fears and doubts;

● Eliminate assumptions, negativity and stress; and

● Ease the difficulties you face now and those yet to come.

Let’s take a step back.

Every one of us identifies with having been through however much in our lives.

We all encounter our share of difficulties that compel us to summon our courage, fortitude and resilience. Life happens and we often don’t have a choice in the matter.

We all know our list of the big ones and the many other challenges along the way – from break-ups and break-downs to unplanned detours full of speed bumps, hurdles and barriers.

But as trying and painful as those experiences are to overcome, the undeniable fact is that we have. We are survivors. It’s in our DNA.

No matter how many times you’ve been knocked down, somehow, some way, we always get back up. We may not have the answers, but we always find a way. That’s what we’ve always done, will do and are doing now.

Given the obvious fact that you’re still standing, it stands to reason that – if you’ve made it through everything until now, it’s completely unnecessary to waste valuable time and energy on anything that's uncertain to happen.

Through all you’ve overcome, you have proven to yourself that you are fully capable of taking things as they come.

Before we explore putting that Earned Confidence into action, let’s distinguish how it differs from confidence.

CONFIDENCE

def. a belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities.

EARNED CONFIDENCE

def. A proven ability that one is fully capable to cope with whatever happens in real time because they’ve already overcome all else.

When we consider our source of confidence, it tends to be based on positive achievements that fill us with pride.

Confidence is a belief-based character trait. It’s something we strive to build and boost. But it can seem elusive and vary greatly, which makes it more challenging to harness and sustain. Confidence wavers.

Earned Confidence is not a concept or somehow unobtainable. It is an ability that’s available to you right now.

LET’s GET PRACTICAL

The key to making Earned Confidence work for you is to accept its pure logic. Convince yourself that it equates to a formula in science or math. It’s precise. There’s no arguing the point. The greatest philosophers, scientists and mathematicians in all of human history have found it irrefutable. Is that convincing enough?

1) TAKE STOCK – You’ll find this easy:

a) List your 2-3 top professional accomplishments

b) List your 2-3 greatest personal achievements

c) List your 2-3 major adversities overcome

2) BUY-IN – Take this another step further:

Taking stock is just the beginning. Make a conscious effort to internalize it as something tangible. Embrace Earned Confidence as a concrete coping skill for you to readily access as a logic filter (we'll explore this more next week).

3) PUT IT IN ACTION – You’ll know when:

The next time you find yourself needlessly distracted by worries, assumptions or other uncertainties, dispel them with your Earned Confidence! Motivate yourself to get out of your own head and experience living presently instead.

Turning adversities into advantages is an established concept. Earned Confidence is about harnessing your experiences as a proactive skill.

It’s incredibly freeing if you think about it and even more so when you choose not to worry or be anxious about something and, instead, decide that everything is okay.

There’s enough to deal with in the present than to allow anything that’s not happening to diminish your life.

Rely on your Earned Confidence to feel secure that everything or someone is okay. Replace your worries with hope and best-case scenarios. This is an integral part of honing your Happierness reflex by seeking the bright side of any given situation.

There is no need to overthink anything. Just deal with the real.

Let's close with a friendly poetic reminder:

Whether your challenges are here and now, when there’s no other way but through.

Or, they’re something uncertain for how and if what's happening proves true.

Whatever may yet come or go, you can be sure to just trust your gut.

Because you already have the Earned Confidence to know, you can and will handle anything - no matter what.

COMING NEXT WEEK:

We'll put your Earned Confidence to the test by "Outsmarting Worries and Assumptions."

BONUS:

If you'd like to go a bit deeper about Earned Confidence, this recent video was a "Brain Bite" for attendees of an event planning conference. It shares more about its origins and me. Naturally, it shares some redundancies with the above article.

INSIGHTS TO LIVE BY - THE PODCAST (current episode)

EPISODE 108: Forging Genuine Connections with Rob Lawless

It’s ironic. Our world is more connected than ever and yet loneliness has reached epidemic proportions. So, what does take to forge genuine connections? Rob Lawless is on a mission to find out. He’s set an intention to spend 1 hour, 1-on-1 with 10,000 different people. As the founder of Robs10kFriends, he’s already met more than 6,000 people from all walks of life across nearly 90+ countries. Through it all, Rob believes that every human interaction holds the potential to change lives. Genuine connections are about treating interactions as an experience rather than a transaction and creating empathy through conversation. Among all else in this episode, we discuss how to create a more connected, empathetic, and successful workplace through the exponential power of human connection.

FROM THE ARCHIVES:

EPISODE 88: Matt’s Favorite Episodes

Now with 100+ episodes, it’s natural for newcomers to feel a bit overwhelmed about what to explore. This solo show offers some guidance. Do you enjoy the meaning behind things? Apart from there being 3 special announcements, there’s something extra special about an 88th episode. Listen in as Matt shares a few personal insights as he revisits some of the earliest solo shows and why listeners just might want to circle back. Then, out of nearly 65 guest episodes are Matt’s top 15 show recommendations along with sharing his recent focus on the world of work. Finally, with appreciation, there are a few exclusive gifts for listeners to enjoy.

NEW EPISODE NEXT WEEK:

"Commanding Chaos with Compounded Productivity"

Guest: Sarah Ohanesian, Founder of SO Productive

READERS NOTE: It's incredibly humbling and exciting to have 1,500 subscribers already - thank you very much for being among them! I also appreciate you inviting anyone else you think will enjoy THE BRIGHT SIDE.

To your HAPPIERNESS!

Author of “Z-isms: Insights to Live By” (free eBook and Audiobook)

Host of “Insights to Live By – The Podcast”

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HAPPENINGS

Friday 2/16: Matt's interview on Stories with Traction, hosted by Matt Zaun

ABOUT: This podcast helps leaders grow their business by persuading their clients and team members, all while having a huge impact on the world around them. As you listen to these episodes, you’ll learn a lot about: storytelling, marketing, sales, company culture, and leadership.

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ADDITIONAL TOPICS FOR WORKSHOPS, KEYNOTES AND TRAINING PROGRAMS

● Extinguishing Burnout: Personally and Organizationally

● Recouping Productivity by Taming Overthinking

● Managing Energy Personally, Interpersonally and Universally

● Defeating Depression for Good

● Foundational Skills for Emotional Intelligence

● Living Your Best Life with Happierness

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