Is it Right to Judge People? ….. Judging to Feel Superior is Unethical.

Almost everyone has an opinion on a woman’s appearance. They judge the woman’s skirt, the tightness of her cleavage, the height of her heels to the colour of her lipstick.

We as a society to jump to quick and very vocal judgment in the name of propriety.

If any woman wears a short dress, the first statement which came to hear is, “Look at that girl wearing the short dress. What an attention seeker she is.”

A popular saying goes in English – Do not judge the book by its cover. I say do not judge a woman by the dress she wears.

It’s important for a woman to feel good in her clothes. Clothes are just something you put on to cover yourself.

The character of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, or the figure that she carries.

But nowadays, our society judges a woman’s character by her clothes. According to them, girls should not wear ‘provocative’ clothes.

“Good Indian girls cover up.”

This was in Toronto, I have been working out intensively. At  Vic Tanny gym, there is this guy, who used to look like a rude dude to me. He is focused, doesn’t talk to anyone, and works out ruthlessly.

In fact, at the age of 52, he is fit for his age and lifts weights like anything.

Once, we had a competition of doing deadlifts, and to be very honest, He could do more dead lifts than me.

 From the past two months, I have observed him to be very focused in working out and he acts very weird if someone talks to him.

I thought, it is age related insanity which struck him at its best and it’s best to ignore such kind of people.

 Once, we had an argument at the dressing room and it did not go well. After a while, I started ignoring him a lot but he remained the same.

Today, we finished our workouts together and he left five minutes early. While I was leaving, I saw him sitting at the stairs silently and numb, watching the road with focus.

I sat beside him, not to talk but casually as I was at my resting mode.

Suddenly, I observed him.

His eyes were moist. He was crying.

To be honest, in all these months, I never saw him at his worst. He always looked like a tough guy to me.

See, I may not look very good, but I have a heart and forgetting everything for a while, I asked him about what happened.

He did not reply.

After 5 seconds, he started to speak.

I had a son. He used to work out with me. He was 20.

I got a phone call from someone at 7 A.M in the morning to reach the emergency department of TORONTO GENERAL as he was hit by the truck.

Every morning, he used to go on a bike ride with his Harley.

He was hit by the truck, and his liver was damaged severely.

When I reached the emergency department, he was taking his last breath.

He somehow gathered courage and said: Father, keep the workout on. You started training me, and I never want you to quit no matter what.

These were the exact words; he said and went.

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 Thank you ….I was numb. I kept looking at him.

Three days later, I came to the gym and never stopped after that. I sit regularly at the stairs and feel like he would come with his bike and we will work out together, but he never came back.

That guy broke down.

My eyes got moist.

I saw him breaking down. I was crying.

I hugged him and assured him that we will work out together from tomorrow. He hugged me back and asked me to arrive on time.

Question: Is it okay to judge people?

Answer: Everyone has a story. Everyone has a past. Every one reacts for a reason. Before judging someone, sit with them and ask, what they are up to. It’s very easy to judge someone, but it is very difficult to realize their story.

Do you want to add a word or two?

We’re often told that we should avoid judging others. But it isn’t so simple.

As humans, we naturally judge those around us to some degree. The key is our intention behind the judgments.

This article explores the nuances of judging others ethically.

When is it justified?

How can we judge mindfully with good intentions?

The Natural Instinct to Judge Those We Love.

Your comments …….

It’s natural to judge the behaviours of people we deeply care about. Especially if they do something unethical or harmful. This instinct comes from love.

We want the best for them, so we may judge their actions — hoping to steer them toward a better path.

For example, if you found out your best friend was stealing, you would likely be shocked. You would judge their behaviour as wrong. Your judgment isn’t from malice.

It’s from concern for their wellbeing. You want to guide them onto an ethical path.

So, judging those close to us can arise from good intentions. Communicating judgments constructively, not punitively, is key.

Judging to Feel Superior is Unethical

However, some judgments have less noble intentions. Judging others just to boost ego or feel superior is unethical.

For example, gossiping about someone’s private life to gain a moral high ground fosters negativity. It comes from insecurity.

Likewise, judging someone’s career or interests just because they differ from your own shows close-mindedness.

These judgments that only serve our pride provide no value. They undermine our shared humanity.

Judging to Reinforce Subjectivity is Problematic

Another pitfall is judging others based solely on our own worldview and morality. This can quickly become a slippery slope.

While some ethical principles may feel universally true to us, reasonable people can disagree with their beliefs. Judging someone just because they have different perspectives is often unproductive.

For instance, judging someone harshly for choosing a career that goes against your preferences interferes with their autonomy to live by their own principles, not yours.

Blindly judging through rigid subjectivity fails to allow for nuances in moral reasoning.

Judging with Good Intentions

However, some judgment does come from a well-intended place of seeking goodness. The key is mindfully assessing underlying intentions when feeling judgmental.

Ask yourself:

Does my judgment come from caring, not superiority?

Am I open to my own subjectivity and limitations here?

Are my expectations of this person realistic and fair?

Would I judge myself this harshly in the same scenario?

True good intentions acknowledge our potential for wrongdoing. They approach each situation with humility and understanding.

The goal should be guiding others towards making ethical choices aligned with their principles, not imposing your own.

Mindful Communication for Constructive Feedback

When judging someone for good intentions, how you communicate matters immensely.

If a family member or close friend engages in behavior you find unethical, kind but candid feedback may be appropriate. However, use the following strategies to ensure your guidance is constructive, not punitive.

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