Rules!
Capt. A. Nagaraj Subbarao, PhD
Author | Professor of Strategy & Leadership | Dean | Case Study Evangelist | Navigator & Sea Captain | Entrepreneur | Food Blogger | Amateur Historian | Intrepid Walker
Sunday, last I was at an upmarket Burmese restaurant in Indira Nagara. The place is well talked about as it was well attended. Indira Nagara looks messier than I had imagined.
Surprisingly for a sizeable fine-dining restaurant with taciturn staff ( the British Stiff upper lip, you see ), there was just one gender-agnostic toilet for the entire population that visited. This resulted in a large Q forming to use the facility, as no 'finger bowl' was offered. The finger bowl is slowly being relegated to history in Bengaluru. As we waited for a shot at the toilet, there was a marked twiddling of thumbs, shifting from one foot to another and staring at intelligent motif walls and old brass knick-knacks probably sourced from Moradabad.
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Just as my turn arrived and I waited to dash in, a little kid came from a side lane and parked at the Q's vanguard. After a brief interlude, I advised the bloke to repair the rear of the Q, which he did somewhat reluctantly, pressed on by his father. The little kid, of course, had other strategies up his little sleeve - namely, his mother, who instead petulantly told me that he was there to wash his tiny hands. Well, so are we, I retorted in my lively manner, much to the annoyance of the tiger mom. She, of course, had no answer; the spark that could have ignited a war of words faded and died. I got to hold my place and gingerly used the rather unhygienic wash place.
The incident left me a tad disturbed. It was an excellent opportunity for the little kid to learn to follow the rules for free. Why do parents subvert learning? Why is taking shortcuts thought to be smart? Why are kids taught to break the rules? Something to mull about, indeed.
Founder: Vadamoola Productivity Solutions (P) Ltd. Adjunct faculty : School of Commerce & Mgt. Studies, Dayanand Sagar Univt. Visiting :Cadeto India.
2yNice! The two issues that pop out of this narrative are 'finger bowls' & 'discipline'. Finger bowls were strategically eliminated by restauranteurs as part of safety protocols post relaxation extended by the administration in the wake of Covid -19 measures. Even high end dining has found this practice irrelevant.The effort of re-introducing them would involve expenditure which such businesses would choose to avoid. About discipline, in the garb of 'child rights ', the age old practice of not 'sparing the rod' has given way to appeasement. The newer generation of mothers/ parents (with no offence meant) find it convenient to ignore what used to be 'zero tolerance behaviour ' in the past because of lesser amount of time available with them. Disciplining is a time consuming process of behavioural conditioning. It also requires setting observable standards for children to emulate. You may also notice similar people demonstrating their best behaviours in places where penalty is associated with errant conduct. So an aspect of conditioning has gradually eroded and has been eroding for some time. A large part of the same is evident in academic institutions as well. Possibly a place where we can put our bit to arrest the slide. Thank you.
IT Strategy, Management Consulting, Training and Development - Independent Consultant
2yCapt. Thanks for highlighting this incident. As a whole we are indifferent to abnormal behavior and people don't intervene due to fear and lack of confidence. Good that you did what hat to be done and taught the parents also a lesson. I faced a similar situation in Oct 2009 in Bhubaneshwar, where positioned myself as replacement for my senior project manager who suffered a heart attack. As I was to retire in the following year, this was an opportunity to be hands on with Telecom Project Managenent. I had gone to the reception to settle my weekly bills and saw anEn8sh couple and 4 chienese ahead of me all standing in line behind the yellow line until their turn. All followed rules and my turn came and by then three more behind. Suddenly from nowhere a fashionable, plumpy middle ages lady barged in and started engaging with the front desk person who was doing my work. I yelled at the lady to have manners and back to the queue which made all behind me giggle. The embarrassed lady told me that I was rude. I told her she is crude and has to learn good manners. All nearby burst into laughter and this lady walked away giving me a stare repeatedly. Each one of us has to act and not leave it to crude people to gave their ways.
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2yBeautifully articulated a sensitive issue Prof. Arakalgud Nagaraj Subbarao. I faced a very similar incident at "Tindi Veedhi" a few weeks ago where jumping the line was taught and considered smartness (Worldly) by a parent.
Assistant Vice President - Group Operational Risk Management at Swiss Re
2ySir, I am sure the kid would remember this incident and good lesson learnt... This reminded me of similar instance, we were at traffic signal and I casually gazed across the street...an old lady and his grandson (may be in high school) got down from the car...granny wanted to climb a step so that she can take a foothpath...she was looking for help and suprisingly the kid walked alone in front of her...granny struggled a bit to climb a step...I was wondering what has happened to this generation kids who lack caring...may be it's more to do with parenting....thank you Sir for sharing your thoughts