When you have the highest hopes but the worst results 💔

Welcome to Quick Confidence! This weekly letter delivers a spritz of stories, tips and actions that will build your confidence and power. Each tip bolsters confidence in your body, mind, and relationships so you can lead yourself and others to greatness. Quick Confidence is also a book! Get your copy to carry confidence wherever you go. 

We’ve all been there—sky-high hopes dashed by unexpected challenges. 😖 I remember a major brand partnership I was so excited about, only to have it unravel bit by bit: my email provider started quarantining the client's emails, leading me to miss critical messages and look unresponsive. Misinterpretations in meetings left us going in circles. Even the tone of interactions felt kind of stilted and "off." Here was a project that just had to go smooth as silk - yet despite all my preparation, it felt like things were spiraling out of control.

Moments like these can leave you feeling defeated, doubting your abilities, or wondering why you couldn’t make it work as planned. But instead of letting setbacks stop you in your tracks, you can approach them as opportunities to learn, pivot, and grow stronger. Here’s how I navigated those times my high hopes ended in the worst results—and regained my confidence too. Give these strategies a try the next time your best-laid plans go awry.

Quick Confidence Tips to Rebound When High Hopes Meet Low Results

• Mindset: Embrace the learning, not just the win. It’s tempting to dwell on what went wrong when your optimism crashes into reality. Instead, reframe the experience by recognizing that none of this is wasted. You can ask yourself, “What did I learn?” Then focus on the skills, insights, or lessons you gained—turning the setback into a stepping stone. This approach shifts the narrative from a failed experience or mistake to an investment in your growth. Pro tip: Jot down the key takeaways from a challenging situation to remember those hard-earned insights for the next high-stakes scenario. It’s not about excusing mistakes—it’s about learning from them, becoming sharper, and more resilient.

• Embodied: Anchor yourself. When things go wrong and your high hopes take a hit, ground yourself with simple techniques to calm your mind and steady your nerves. Sit or stand tall, roll your shoulders back, and press your feet firmly into the ground to create a stable foundation. Breathe deeply: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, and exhale for 4 to reset your nervous system. You can also clench your fists tightly, then release them to regain a sense of control. These small yet powerful actions, practiced individually or together, will center you and clear your head, making it easier to move forward. Anchoring yourself in the moment can also help you make more composed, confident decisions—even when things aren’t unfolding as planned.

• Interpersonal: Weave in the lessons for next time. A valuable way to make the most of a tough experience is to incorporate what you’ve learned into your future work. Use each misstep or challenge to build your credibility by sharing those lessons when they’re relevant. This shows your growth, adaptability, and professionalism, which can be even more impactful than an unblemished track record. For example:

-In your next pitch or meeting: “One best practice I learned from a recent project is [specific lesson]. I think this can really streamline our approach here.”

-When kicking off a new project: “From my past experience working on a similar project, I saw how [specific skill or method] can prevent common roadblocks. I’m excited to apply that here!”

By actively sharing your lessons, you show that you’re growing, not dwelling, and adding value in real-time.

Setbacks are hard—no doubt about it. But they can also be invaluable. If you stay optimistic and pair that with a commitment to keep learning, challenging situations will shape you, refining your approach and making you more adaptable and resilient with every experience. So the next time you hit a high-stakes moment, remember that every experience—good or bad—builds your expertise and strengthens your confidence.

Think back to a recent setback that threw you off course. What’s one lesson or skill you gained from it? Challenge yourself to apply that lesson in a new situation—whether it’s improving a process, making a clearer plan, or navigating a tough conversation.

How have you turned a challenging experience into a confidence-builder? Share your story in the comments—we’d love to learn from you!

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