The Night Santa Went Crazy (Extra Gory Version)

Track 175 on Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic

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The Night Santa Went Crazy (Extra Gory Version) Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Down in the workshop, all the elves were making toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared them half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots, he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all! Now you're all gonna die!"

[Chorus]
The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nick went insane
Realized he'd been getting a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

[Verse 2]
Well, the workshop is gone now—he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers, and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbecued Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

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[Chorus]
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can hardly walk around the North Pole
Without stepping in reindeer guts

[Bridge]
There's the National Guard and the FBI
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know ... oh Santa, why?
My, my, my, my, my, my
You used to be such a jolly guy

[Verse 3]
Yes Virginia, now Santa Claus is dead
Some guy from the SWAT team blew a hole through his head
Yes little friend now, that's his brains on the floor
I guess they won't have the fat guy to kick around anymore
But now there's no more presents for children's enjoyment
And the Elves gotta stand in line to file for unemployment
And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer, negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' 'bout

[Chorus]
The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo-oh, the night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nick went insane
Realized he'd been getting a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo-oh, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain

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Genius Annotation

Workplace shootings became a surprisingly commonplace occurrence in 1990s America. Much as Al’s “Christmas at Ground Zero” dealt with 1980s anxieties about nuclear war, this track juxtaposed Christmas mythology with a grim-but-contemporary phenomenon.

The main difference between this version and the normal one is that Vixen and Donner are not mentioned (leaving their fate ambiguous), Santa gets killed by the SWAT team, and the elves file for unemployment benefits. For a while, this version was only available through the single release of “Amish Paradise”, but was later released on “The Essential ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic” collection and on the “Medium Rarities” album.