3 power shifts to make asking for a raise easier 😎

Welcome to Quick Confidence! This weekly letter delivers a spritz of stories, tips and simple actions that will build your confidence and your power. Each quick tip bolsters confidence in your body, mind, and relationships so you can lead yourself and others to greatness. 

I was a 26-year-old, scrappy, hard-working management consultant the first time I asked for a raise. 

My decision to ask came after I found out (over lunch) from a male peer that I was paid thousands less than him. Can you say frustrating!? 

But somehow, knowing I wasn’t getting my due wasn't the most uncomfortable part of the situation. Nope! Even worse was the way I felt actually asking my manager for a raise. 

Honestly, I felt like a nervous 9-year-old asking my strict dad for a big allowance.

Have you ever been there?

Maybe nerves get the better of you as you wonder if you’ve been “good enough" or truly earned a raise or promotion. Or perhaps you think you should be grateful for what you have right now – it’s enough for you to get by, at least!

Well, I’m here to tell you that those limiting beliefs will get you nowhere. You’re all grown up now, and you work hard for your paycheck. And if you’ve been with the same company for a few years, I’d wager that you’ve assumed new responsibilities and learned additional skills that deserve a salary increase.

It’s time for you to leave behind that anxious mindset around asking for money and shift into your power, so you aren’t just getting by – you’re thriving.

Here are 3 power shifts to adopt when asking your employer for a raise:

Quick Confidence Tips when Asking for a Raise:

1. Mindset: Remember that you’re not asking for a personal favor. Sure, you probably have a long list of personal reasons for asking for a raise. Your rent just went up, grocery prices are astronomical, you’re planning a wedding. Although these are valid reasons for needing more money, it isn’t exactly your employer’s responsibility to fund them. Your salary is compensation for the value you bring to a company. So, that’s what you should focus on when asking for a raise. Stay objective and keep emotions out of the conversation. Your employer will be more open to negotiating your salary if you bring hard data and facts that pertain to your position. So think about results achieved, accolades that clients and leaders have given you, and how other projects led to meaningful business outcomes.
2. Interpersonal: Talk to others about their salaries. Most of us were raised thinking it’s impolite to talk about money, and we certainly should never ask someone how much they make. But this is a toxic mindset that contributes to the wage gap, particularly for women and people of color. If you don’t know how much people in your line of work make, how could you ever know if your pay is fair or not? Research the average salary for similar positions in your area and comparable cities and talk to your co-workers and colleagues about their take-home pay and benefits. Accept calls from recruiters and let them give you a going rate for someone with your skills. If your compensation is meaningfully lower, you can use that information to make your case when asking for a raise.
3. Embodied: It’s a matter of timing. The best time to ask for a raise is when you have the most bargaining chips. So before you step into any kind of negotiation, you should arm yourself with information that supports your case. When you have some major accomplishments under your belt and are a proven asset to the company, securing a higher salary becomes much easier. One lethal mistake is waiting until performance review time to ask for more, when salaries and adjustments have often already been decided. That’s why it’s better to ask for a raise when your personal value is fresh on people’s minds, let’s say after a big win or major project wrapping.

Remember, very few things in life happen all on their own.

It would be awesome if our employers automatically handed out raises after a big accomplishment or significant milestone. Unfortunately, the powers that be are usually too consumed with their own responsibilities to consider how your performance aligns (or doesn’t align) with your take-home pay. 

So, take responsibility for your salary and be your own advocate! Assess your own performance, set up a meeting with your manager, and be the one to start the conversation. You’re more likely to get what you want when you know your worth. 

What has been holding you back from asking for a raise? And which Quick Confidence tips do you think will be most helpful in getting you to pop the question? Let me know in the comments I love hearing from you! 

Are you part of an ERG or leadership development initiative at your company? Let’s plan a book signing, talk or webinar on 'Quick Confidence' for your organization! 

For a limited time, I'm waiving my speaking fee (and throwing in bonuses) for companies who order 200 copies or more of 'Quick Confidence'. You'll also get a book club kit and discussion guide.

Email us at chelsea@selenarezvani.com to plan your event!