The Aloha Friday Newsletter

A happy ALOHA FRIDAY everyone!

It has been a BUSY past couple of weeks for me.

We just launched the second Bloom Women’s Coaching program and I am already so excited and inspired by this new group of amazing ladies.

Community is so important, especially when you are going through life or career changes. Having a group of people who not only cheer you on from the sidelines but who are also working on themselves on a similar journey is one of the most empowering things to witness and experience.

Together, we can do so much.

Dear Aunty Dana Mahina...

…I’m struggling to feel confident in myself. I know that I am a smart and capable person but I can’t seem to stop questioning my capabilities and worth.

First off, it’s easier if you start thinking about confidence as a skill rather than a quality.

Like a skill, feeling confident is something you work on and build up over time. If you simply sit around and wait to wake up one day and feel confident, it won’t happen.

Confidence Killer: Negative Self-Talk

The first thing we have to conquer is negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is that mean little voice in our heads that tells us that we’re not good enough, that we need to keep working on ourselves and then one day we will wake up confident - and that until that day happens, we haven’t done enough.

But did you know that we actually think around 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts every day, and a whopping 80% of them can be negative? That’s ridiculous! We have to change the narrative. 

Confidence Killer: Stopping Comparisons

Comparisons can also be really damaging to our self-confidence. When we compare ourselves to others, we often focus on their strengths and our weaknesses, which can make us feel like we are not good enough, even though we have our own strengths and the people we compare ourselves to have their weaknesses. 

Confidence Killer: Stopping Toxic Associations

Toxic associations and relationships break down our self-worth and confidence. People who are insensitive or ungrateful can make us feel taken advantage of and question our worth. 

But don't worry, there are ways to combat all of these confidence killers!

Building Confidence: Positive Affirmations

First, start with positive affirmations. I’ve talked a lot about positive affirmations before. And if you want more detail about building positive affirmations that work for you, you can read more here. Even if you don’t believe the affirmations right now, do them anyway! Your subconscious will start to accept them as the truths that they are and help build your confidence.

Building Confidence: Set Realistic Goals

Next, set realistic goals with achievable daily tasks. We often set unrealistic and unachievable goals for ourselves and then beat ourselves up when we don’t achieve the impossible. Setting realistic goals will help you gain confidence as you achieve your goals and celebrate your wins along the way.

Building Confidence: Build Your Support Network

Finally, surround yourself with people who encourage growth and authenticity. Having a support system that supports and uplifts you will help you as you build confidence in yourself. 

As you build your confidence remember that practice makes permanent. Just like building any skill, you need to stay consistent and keep trying, even when it gets difficult.

You’ve got this!

Have a question you’d like me to answer in the next newsletter? DM me or leave your question in the comments!

Tools to Embrace Your Joy and Lead Your Life

Until Next Time,