Build the “Ship” You Need: Leadership, Relationship, and Connection Across Divides

By Dr. Cherry, Quite Contrary #ceowhisperher

Let’s talk ships. No, not the ones with sails and anchors—though they’ve been known to get you across a few oceans—but the ships that get you through life: Leadership, Relationship, Partnership.

In today’s world, we’re divided by opinions, backgrounds, and biases that often feel too wide to cross. But here’s the thing—no leader, no person, ever made it alone. You need a ship to get anywhere worthwhile. And in this case, the ships I’m talking about are the bridges that connect us, despite our differences.

The Leadership "Ship" – Navigating through Uncertainty

As a leader, your job isn’t just to steer yourself—it’s to guide others through stormy seas, choppy waters, and unpredictable currents. But what’s the first thing a good captain knows? You need a sturdy ship. Leadership is that vessel, but the trick is realizing that it doesn’t work without the people in it. You can be the best captain on earth, but if you’re too busy focusing on the waves you disagree with (politics, opinions, or personality clashes), you’ll miss the horizon altogether.

In leadership, it’s not about being right—it’s about being effective. The most successful leaders I’ve coached are the ones who build their ships not with egos and ultimatums but with listening, empathy, and understanding. Neuroscience shows that when we feel understood and supported, our brains produce oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” which increases trust and cooperation. In short: your leadership thrives when your crew feels safe with you.

Relationships Are the Oars, Not the Anchor

Let’s shift gears to relationship, because we don’t need ships with fancy sails if we’ve got no way to row. Relationships are the oars that propel us forward. They aren’t meant to hold you down (that’s the anchor’s job) but to move you through rough waters. The key to navigating relationships is realizing that people don’t have to think like you to row alongside you.

If you’re holding onto your personal biases like they’re some kind of flotation device, you’re not rowing—you’re just drifting. Neuroscience tells us that confirmation bias—our tendency to only seek out information that supports what we already believe—keeps us stuck in the same mindset. You can’t sail forward if you’re circling the same old island of belief. Drop the weight of needing to be right. Pick up the oar of curiosity. That’s how you build relationships that last and push you to new shores.

Partnerships – Your Shipmates Matter

Partnership is a ship built on trust and shared vision. The thing about partnerships is, they aren’t about finding someone who mirrors your thoughts—they’re about finding someone who complements your weaknesses and sees the world differently. If you’re only surrounding yourself with people who echo your ideas, guess what? Your ship is gonna tip over the first time it hits uneven water.

Psychologically speaking, diverse teams outperform homogenous ones because they approach problems from multiple angles. In cognitive diversity, different perspectives spark innovation, challenge assumptions, and lead to better outcomes. So, if your ship is built with people who think exactly like you, you’re missing out on the brilliance that comes from diverse thought.

Bridging the Gaps: The Ship Is Stronger Together

Imagine building a ship but refusing to use nails because you prefer glue. It’s not going to hold, right? Yet, that’s what we do when we avoid difficult conversations or cling to what divides us. We refuse to “use the nails” of understanding because we’re stuck in our ways, our perspectives, our beliefs.

But the ship we need to build—the one that will carry us through this polarized world—needs every tool, every material, every perspective. Biases and hate? They’re the leaks in the hull, and if we don’t fix them, the ship will sink. We need to embrace the people, ideas, and opportunities that challenge us to see a better, fuller picture.

Build Bridges, Not Walls

Every time we choose connection over conflict, we’re adding a plank to that bridge that leads to a better future. We’re moving away from the things that divide us, towards the things that unite us. If you’ve ever had a tough conversation that resulted in greater understanding, you know what I’m talking about. That’s the power of building a relationship—a ship designed to cross the divide, rather than stay stuck in our separate corners.

The research backs it up: Emotional intelligence—the ability to manage our own emotions and connect with others—leads to more effective leadership, better teamwork, and greater overall success. And it’s not just about warm fuzzy feelings—it’s about building resilience, fostering collaboration, and, ultimately, getting things done.

The Ship You Build Today Determines Your Journey Tomorrow

So, what kind of ship are you building? One that only holds people who agree with you, or one that invites others to contribute, question, and grow? The most successful leaders and teams are those who understand that the strength of their ship lies in its diversity, its resilience, and its willingness to weather storms together.

The world is too full of people standing on opposite shores, shouting across the divide. Take the ship. Cross over. Have a conversation. Build relationships with people who don’t look, think, or act like you, because those are the very relationships that will help you become a better version of yourself.

Conclusion: Love Over Hate, Connection Over Conflict

Ships are made to carry us over rough waters. They help us navigate differences, bridge gaps, and build connections that make us stronger, smarter, and more compassionate. In today’s world, we need more than hate, more than division—we need to build ships that bring us together. Whether it’s leadership, relationship, or partnership, the ship you choose to build will determine where you go, who goes with you, and how far you’ll travel.

So, build the ship. Build it with empathy, curiosity, and love—and let’s sail toward a future where we’re more connected, more understanding, and more human.

Build your ship. Get on board!!