Feedback is a Gift

As we move through the day, focusing on all that we have to do, does not allow us to be aware of our internal moods and actions that express them to people around us. At times it is great to stop and listen to our internal process.  

We can be so preoccupied with internal thoughts and emotions that we don't notice the lack of our presence at work, in friendships, in romantic relationships, and in family relations. Others around us will react to our lack of presence in the interaction. 

People around us will have lots of assumptions about this change. They might get scared, angry, sad, or suspicious about our lack of presence in our daily interactions. These changed interactions open us to many misunderstandings.  

Employees assume their boss no longer appreciates them and will fire them. Parents think that their children are up to no good and are doing something illegal or dangerous. Mates assume their partner is no longer attracted to them or having an affair. Children believe their parents are abandoning them since they have not been the ideal child. You get the point. However, we might not even be aware that our changed behavior fuels many assumptions since we are internally involved.  

Reality Check is what I suggest for everyone involved. If you see someone's regular behavioral pattern has changed, let them know that you are observing a change in the behavior. This observation sharing can be from a curious and empathic stance and not from a judgmental make wrong. Obviously, you will get people defensive if you give them negative feedback. However, if your reality checks from a neutral stance, you will more likely get the person to be appreciative of you and reflect on their behaviors. 

When people give us feedback, it can startle us and awaken our self judgemental side. It is essential to take it in and reflect on the cause of our recent behaviors and their impact. Becoming defensive and dismissing others' feedback will make us miss important information about our internal process and the leading behavior which needs to change before creating unreturnable damage.  

These healthy communications will allow our relationship to be closer and more intimate. Allowing feedback also creates a growth space for us to see the blind spots and shadow sides that we would have never seen otherwise. 

For more observational skills, Awareness Integration psychological and educational theory and intervention can help you. I have made this process a structured practice that can support you become aware of your Happiness vs. depression disposition, dualities, and how you operate daily. This model helps you complete the past and create an intentional future by being deliberate today. To experience this model, get my book Life Reset - The Awareness Integration Path to the Life You Want.