7 Powerful Questions to Make You a Better Coach

This week, I just finished up Day 2 for the current Sioux Falls Dare to Lead fall cohort. It's a 3-day workshop and Day 2 is my favorite because we dive into curiosity and harnessing the power of inquiry by asking good questions (rather than telling someone what to do) to support our team members and coworkers. (BTW - it works wonderfully with parenting too...)

I call it coaching.

When you tell someone what you do, you are advising.  

When you share your experience, you are mentoring. 

When you give advice expecting someone to follow it, you are consulting.

When you teach a skill set, you are training.

When you share information, you are teaching. 

When you ask questions so that a person comes up with a deeper insight (that is already inside of them) and then support them to discover their own way forward... you are coaching.  

If you're new to this way of leadership (it's my favorite, yet least used, leadership tool), it helps to have a few 'back pocket' questions that you can grab at a moment's notice when presented with a coaching opportunity.

Michael Bungay Stanier wrote the book on the number one coaching skill we need to be a better leader. The book is called The Coaching Habit. And that skill? Asking powerful questions.

He outlines 7 questions that will help you develop your coaching muscle, stay curious a little longer, and tame the advice monster that only creates overdependence (which we want to avoid as leaders). 

Here are the cliff notes:

1. The Kickstart Question - What's on your mind?
2. The AWE Question - And what else?
3. The Focus Question - What's the real challenge for you here?
4. The Foundation Question - What do you want?
5. The Lazy Question - How can I help?
6. The Strategic Question - If you are saying YES to this, what are you saying NO to?
7. The Learning Question - What was most useful for you?

Reading the book will give you a great understanding but hearing the master at work is priceless.

The author of Dare to Lead, Brené Brown, interviewed Michael Bungay Stanier for her DTL podcast. Here's where you can go to hear a conversation between Brené and Michael where he expertly coaches her on a real-life situation she's wrestling with. 👇

When I listened to this podcast, I was blown away by Michael's skill as a coach and by Brené's vulnerability. #practicewhatyoupreach My favorite question he asks is 'what is the real challenge for you here?' and if you've had a coaching conversation with me in the last few months, you may have been asked that question. I got it from Michael! 

I believe in the power of coaching... especially as a leadership style. But it takes curiosity, served up alongside tons of practice, to get good at it. 

Where do you start?

• Pretend you don't know anything. The benefit of this is that you'll stay out of judgment when you listen with curiosity. Judgment and curiosity can't coexist.
• Ask someone to define a word for themselves rather than assigning your definition to it. 'What does that mean to you?'
• Actively listen and use a well crafted question on what they just said to continue searching the depths. 
• And remember... the first problem that appears, may not be the real problem. What's the REAL challenge for you here? Brilliant!

Have questions about who I coach, my coaching philosophy, and how I can help you through coaching? Set up a call with me to experience a real coaching conversation and explore what a coaching relationship with me can do for you.

To you staying curious ~

Lisa