Doubt vs. Discernment
Lisa Brouwer
Courage Coach | Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator | Creator of the Braver Together Community | Speaker | Coast-to-Coast Inspirer
Last week, I spent 3-days in Fargo, ND teaching Brené Brown's courage building work from her book Dare to Lead. Today's prompting actually comes from a discussion we had at Dare to Lead. One of the attendees asked a really thought provoking question... one I couldn't even answer for myself. (Thanks Becky! 😁)
She shared a situation of being in the middle of solving a problem or making a decision where she's taking in all the data, weighing the information, and then bumps into resistance and hesitates to make a choice to move forward. Her question was, 'how do you know when you're in doubt or if it's discernment'? 🤯
I feel like I wade in and out of this space too but Becky put words to bring some clarity to what's underneath.
Grab your journal, your pen, your coffee, and settle into your favorite place for a few minutes of reflection where you can unpack Becky's question.
When I feel stuck, how can I know when I'm in doubt and how can I know when I'm in discernment?
If you can't get there right away, let me offer a framework for how to think about this...
Define: What it is...
Define doubt and define discernment. What does each mean to you and what does Webster say about it? Or Chat CPT. 🧐
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Refine: What it is NOT...
Define what each is NOT. You could go a lot of ways with this perspective. For instance, this kind of doubt is not questioning the truth but rather doubting myself and my ability to make a sound decision. (Distinguishing between outward doubt and self-doubt.)
Align: How do I know?
Can you think of a time when it's clearly been doubt or discernment? Do they feel different in your body? Are your thoughts different if you're in doubt from when you're in discernment? If so, how? Is there something different happening when one shows up over the other? (situationally, emotionally) If you have a hard time figuring this out, pretend that you DO know or simply DECIDE for yourself how it's going to show up.
I'm curious how you're thinking about this. We never did answer Becky's question because how it shows up for her is different than how it shows up for anyone else. All we did was ask more questions to get her thinking about it. It wasn't a time to offer a solution but a way for her to explore this for herself.
Feel free to share your thoughts below. I'm off to figuring out my own answer to this question... hope to fill you in later!
Leadership Development I Management Training | Behavior Change | Accountability
1moThank you for the prompts to help think about this...I'll be referring to them the next time I'm in this situation.
Masters in Education at St. Marys University
1moIt is a good read at an essential space in time for many of us. For years, I have followed the Ignatius Rule of Discernment. After much thought and discernment, I made a choice and a decision. After three days, I move forward if I feel calm and at peace. If, after three days, I find more stress, less hope, and despair or I feel 'stuck,' I return to the beginning and begin again. This form of prayer and discernment has served me well for the past thirty years.