Fighting for Your Freedom

Sometimes life is for the taking. Sometimes life takes you. Whether intentional or involuntary, these pivotal events often define our lives, especially when they coincide with gaining or losing certain freedoms.

We all deal with constraints based on our choices, obligations, indecisions, complacency, and the unavoidable. Here’s a shortlist:

● Stuck in a “dead-end job”

● Trapped in a toxic relationship

● Saddled with debt

● Parenting duties

● Physical or mental health challenges

● Limited career and earnings potential

● Adult children living at home (they too are constrained)

● Taking care of an elder parent

Freedom is multifaceted and holds different meanings to each of us. For our purposes, it’s about what is and is not within our control to do and our ability to change things for the better.

How much “self-determination” do you wield to exercise free will to do as you please?

Let’s simplify things. We’re not getting into civil, political or human rights. It’s about our individual quality of life. This brings to light at least three kinds of freedom that impact us daily.

1. Mind Freedom: Having the headspace to be present and focus on the things that matter. This goes to the very heart of many topics in THE BRIGHT SIDE (links to all past issues are at the bottom).

2. Time Freedom: Having enough control and balance to do the things that matter. This is circumstantial as well as skill-driven with self-discipline.

3. Financial Freedom: Having enough money to do the things you want and that matter.

Traditionally, it's seen as not needing to worry about money. However, recent studies point to a shift of more modest expectations. Some say it's being debt-free or living comfortably rather than getting rich. The reality is that few report living without financial concerns.

Still, there’s something to be said for living within your means and being grateful for having your basic needs met. Money doesn’t necessarily “make the world go ‘round,” but it is necessary to go around the world.

Beliefs and Perceptions About “Control”

We all understand freedom when it comes to time, money, and peace of mind. In some ways, our individual belief systems play an even greater role. There’s an interesting school of thought here known as the locus of control that distinguishes two perspectives.

● Internal Locus of Control: Certain people believe they influence outcomes through their efforts, decisions and actions. They feel wholly responsible for their success or failure.

● External Locus of Control: Others feel external forces like fate, luck or other people have more influence over their lives and outcomes. They often view life events as beyond their control.

It’s easy to envision how these fundamentally different beliefs can change someone’s perspectives, motives and pursuits.

Recognizing and understanding these beliefs can enhance how we approach personal growth and freedom.

With which locus of control do you identify? How do your beliefs shape your life events?

You’ll find it helpful to consider these unique perceptions as you continue on your quest for greater enrichment.

WHAT’s YOUR STORY? (Sidebar)

It's sensible to take stock of your life and identify opportunities to experience more freedom. However, gaining full clarity about your future involves understanding your past, especially the role freedom has played.

I originally shared a personal anecdote about "My Fight for Freedom" in this main article, but felt it made the piece too long. Instead, I've included it as a sidebar article below. I hope you enjoy it.

LET’S GET PRACTICAL

Imagine having a looking glass that allows you to view your current circumstances through a lens of freedom. This involves a few factors to bring things into true focus.

One is to be clear about what matters most to you. We’ve explored this in different ways. Most recently, it involved pinpointing your purpose by aligning with your values. We also explored these in the context of “life currencies” which include freedom.

If you have yet to do so, you may find it helpful to ponder the worth you place on freedom in relation to your other values. It might also help to consider potential blind spots.

It’s possible to not know what you’re missing until you have it or to realize how much you value something until you lose it. Many people found this to be the case while working at home during the pandemic. The freedoms of that flexibility led many to reconsider and act on newfound priorities. Conversely, with the pandemic came the loss of certain freedoms we may have taken for granted.

ACTIVITY 1: FREEDOM AUDIT

Make a list of your current responsibilities, commitments and constraints. Rate each as necessary or unnecessary. Be objective. Do you really need to do it all? Consider ways to free yourself from anything overwhelming as well as opportunities that hold greater joy.

ACTIVITY 2: TAKE A PERCEPTION SNAPSHOT

We introduced this in Issue 6 about “Putting Your Perception in Perspective.” It’s worth revisiting now [and again] as a way to stop all the moving parts in your life, identify concerns and focus on what matters most. Use the simple table below to isolate your life categories to rate each as currently being positive or negative. Trust your first instincts. Be grateful for what you have and is going well.

ACTIVITY 3: DECLARE YOUR FREEDOM

Use insights from the Freedom Audit and Perception Snapshot to identify opportunities for greater autonomy. Here’s a brainstorm to get you started:

Gain Time Freedom: Hire a virtual assistant, use a landscaper, limit your “screen time,” or shift to hybrid or remote work.

Gain Financial Freedom: Pursue a side hustle, learn a new career skill or earn a degree or certification to open new doors of opportunity.

Life-Altering Freedom: Get a new job, end a relationship, insulate yourself from negative people, downsize your home, give your adult child an ultimatum to move out, or relocate to a new city.

Experience More Freedom: Take more nature walks or day trips, buy a camper or motorcycle, go horseback riding, hiking or skydiving.

After putting pen to paper, it might surprise you to realize how your priorities have shifted. You might find yourself at an inflection point involving big decisions. Then again, even small adjustments can reap significant benefits.

THE DEPTHS OF YOU

As you pursue greater freedom in life, it may seem more obvious to focus on external circumstances. In practicality, there are limits to how much time and money we can save and earn.

Here’s where I’d like you to consider how your greatest freedoms can be gained by winning more battles within.

Among the driving forces of THE BRIGHT SIDE is my belief that overthinking is the greatest diminisher of happiness in people’s lives. Herein you have the guidance to hone the skills that provide lasting life improvements.

Look within to free your mind from worries and limiting beliefs. Embrace presence, resilience and self-kindness. Cultivate your Earned Confidence, mindfulness, intuition and Happierness.

More opportunities lie ahead to make your inner world a place of greater peace and possibility.

The choice to live freely is yours - experience it on The Bright Side.

THE BRIGHT SIDE is a 100% Human-Generated Publication

TBS Issue 18 - Personal Message

I hope this week's article provides some helpful guidance to gain greater clarity and motivation to enjoy more freedoms in life. Please feel welcome to join me for a few more minutes about:

● Bonus Article Below: "My Fight for Freedom"

● Speaker Demo Reel

My Fight for Freedom

As much as we might single out freedom as an independent core value, it’s actually more of a means to an end to attain the other things that matter most to us.

Freedom has been the guiding force in my life. I wonder how many other people would say the same and whether they can point to a single turning point where freedom set the course.

For me, it was a case of necessity in early 2002 that began with a chain reaction of difficult decisions. The first came with the realization that my marriage had failed when my son was barely 2. As sacred as I held my vows and as concerning as it was to raise a child alone, the choice was clear to me.

I believed it was crucial for my son not to grow up in a stressful home environment and for me to be the best father I could be. The higher priority was for him to have balance.

Naturally, this decision also meant embracing my role as a single parent. Above all else, it was important to me to uphold my role in raising him, which meant having 50 percent custody.

Reality was in full focus that first night in our new apartment. The evening consisted of changing diapers, sterilizing bottles, playtime, reading and singing Jake to sleep. And then everything went quiet. It was easy to feel scared and lonely. I did. But I also felt a greater sense of peace and reassurance.

Another priority was my health. I wasn’t doing well. The candle was literally burning at both ends due to the strain of the divorce and getting our own place. There was the stress of work and the daily two-and-a-half-hour commute to Philly. I was also president-elect of a major professional association.

The tail was wagging the dog.

There wasn’t enough of me to go around. Something had to give. To be fully present for Jake, I needed the flexibility to be with him. My need for freedom reached its peak.

It was an easy decision to step down from the association board. I also caught a big break with a former client, securing a two-year contract. This provided the stability I needed to start my marketing and communication firm. I resigned from my job as PR director.

Suddenly, my life became compartmentalized. When I had my son, he had all of me. When he was with his mom, I gave my all to building my business.

My entire lifestyle shifted in a blink. With it came an unexpected sense of joy. Though faced with my greatest challenges yet, I regained my freedom. I’d forgotten what it was like to be in control of my life.

It’s often not until you’re freed that you realize how shackled you’ve been.

This new experience was different from any other sense of freedom I’d known. Sure, there was bachelorhood. I had my college experience. And as a stereotypical GenXer, I pretty much raised myself. This was a liberation kind of freedom!

Apart from parenting, it’s been essential for me to remain an entrepreneur. It’s been anything but easy, but my freedom reigns supreme. Having experienced two bouts of burnout and overcome depression, it’s crucial for me to maintain control of my schedule.

In retrospect, my pursuit of freedom has shaped my perspective on life, especially with my career, my relationships and as a parent.

Overall, it’s an understatement to say that the decision to raise Jake is among my best ones and how it has shaped us both for the better. I remained a single parent until he was 15 when I met the love of my life, Erica, along with my stepdaughter, Greta.

Now, he’s about to turn 24. She’ll be 20 next month. I now find myself navigating a different phase of freedom. It’s allowing me to pursue my ultimate goal as a keynote speaker and fulfill my mission to enrich the lives of as many people as possible.

Thank you for the opportunity.

To your INDEPENDENCE!

Author of “Z-isms: Insights to Live By” (free eBook and Audiobook)

Host of “Insights to Live By – The Podcast”

Contact: matt@Z-isms.com

SPEAKER DEMO REEL

As a corporate trainer and speaker for the conference circuit and company events along with wellness and women's organizations, I welcome the opportunity to have a conversation about having me on your stage and providing your audience with a uniquely enriching experience. Thank you for your interest to view this video and explore this together.

● Interactive WORKSHOP-inars: "Instilling Presence and Resilience with Uncommon Skill-Building Techniques”

Matt routinely presents this program to various professional organizations among talent development, human resources, organizational development and other networking groups. If you would like to view a recording of this presentation, one is available through the Global Institute of Organizational Development (GIODN). However, to participate, you'll need the program activities worksheet. Please email Matt (above) if you'd like him to send you that and the program link to experience it for yourself.

ADDITIONAL TOPICS FOR WORKSHOPS, KEYNOTES AND LEARNING PROGRAMS

● Extinguishing Burnout for Good: Personally and Organizationally

● Getting Out of Your Head and into Your Life (Taming Overthinking)

● Managing Energy: Personally, Interpersonally and Universally

● Defeating Depression Once and For All

● Foundational Skills for Emotional Intelligence

● Honing Your Intuition for Personal Effectiveness

● Uncommon Mindset Skills to Enrich Your Happierness

To consider having Matt keynote your next event or support your people with workshops, retreats and other custom training programs: Book Matt's Calendar to explore this together.

TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THESE LEARN-BY-DOING EXPERIENTIAL COURSES: The Mindset Reset, WellBeing Reset, Life Upgrade modules (click here)