Your Circle Is Killing your Success

Jim Rohn teaches that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with in life. While this feels like a very simple concept there are a few things to consider that will help you get the most and give the most to your circle. First, we must understand the 3 circle method. We all should have at least 3 layers to our professional circle. And, while this is professional, do not forget that our personal and professional circle can often overlap. The outermost circle is our largest and includes the most people. This often includes co-workers, social media contacts, clients, and fellow members of professional affiliations. The second layer is those that we are actively doing business together with on a consistent basis. These are often people that we will meet up with after hours or for social events. These are people that you would be comfortable making referrals for on LinkedIn or via phone or email.

Finally, we have the inner circle and this group should be limited. I’ve heard people refer to this group as large as 15, but I recommend 5-7. These are the people that we will be most focused on in this article

One of the first things that we must address is the misconception that if we surround ourselves with rich people we will become rich. This belief that I will become like these people leads us to try to surround ourselves with people that are already in high demand. This is why we see so many people paying to be in mastermind groups with Tony Robbins, John Maxwell and others. Masterminds and training events can have tremendous value. They have a place in our personal development and while this is not wrong in and of itself, the risk is that we begin to believe that we will become successful simply by osmosis. This is not the case. Success is dependent on personal intentional action. The key is to surround ourselves with people with an equal or greater commitment to the pursuit of success and service of others. If we are not running the race together we will grow weary. The race to success is not about catching the person in front of us. It is about running with a team around us supporting and encouraging each other in the pursuit of our goals.

Another major risk of the pursuit of those perceived as the top of the food chain is that they are often far more difficult to have time with on a consistent basis. This can have many negative impacts. The first is we struggle to get to know the true intentions of a person if we do not spend consistent quality time together.  This leads to the second problem. If the individual’s intentions are self-serving in nature we are likely not going to be aware of this before it costs us greatly. 

I know in my life I have been guilty of trying to chase these types of people in my circle. The outcome was that many had malicious intentions and this led to my ideas, work and opportunities being stolen and built by the very people I was trying to include in my circle. The result is what I refer to as my stupid tax. I operated based on trust and respect and not on contracts. This led to countless loss in financial compensation. At last count, my stupid tax was over $20,000,000.00. This is the cost I’ve paid for being in the wrong circle. My challenge to you is to learn from my mistakes. Surround yourself with people that are willing to run the race together. Here are a few tips to consider when selecting your circle.

1.      Don’t Chase the Local Business Celebrities

If you have been in business for any length of time you will know that it is common for successful business owners to take on a local celebrity status. This is a problem. We begin to believe that these local celebrities can live up to the hype that surrounds them. In most cases, this is not the case. This often made even more difficult by the tendency to believe their own hype. The local business celebrity begins to self-promote and in doing so lose their integrity and desire to truly run the race to success with other business owners. Instead, they become ruthless in their pursuit of their own pursuits. This is when the circle ultimately suffers. We are far better off when we can find like-minded people that we can align with in the pursuit of success. We need to identify these people and this is where we go to our next tip.

2.      Time is the most valuable of resources

Time is a far rarer commodity than money in this era. People have plenty of money and physical resources to spread around but time is the most finite of resources. This makes creating a personal circle a challenge. We need to know that the people we have in our circle are worth spending our time with and that they are willing to spend time with us. We grow by spending time together. This is where chasing the local celebrity really fails. They do not have time to spend with us and therefore we often give but rarely see anything in return. The real growth happens when we are willing to grow together. The people in your inner circle should be met with at least once every 2-4 weeks. If it is longer than that both people are suffering. My goal is to reach out every 2 weeks. I also ensure that we schedule our next get together at the end of every appointment.  I also anticipate that the member will reach out to me every 2 weeks as well. This allows me to measure the effectiveness of my inner circle. Remember you are in charge of your inner circle. If you are not growing, rework the circle. The last tip that we must look at deals with how others view you and your circle. And professionally this matters more than most of us would like.

3.      You are measured by your circle.

This can be a blessing and a curse as the old saying goes. Our circle is an expansion of who we are in life. If you circle is made up of quality people doing great working and having a tremendous impact in your community you will have a reputation that reflects theirs. The problem is that the inverse is true as well. If the people you surround yourself are seen to be untrustworthy or self-promoting everything you do will be viewed through the same lenses. This happens far more often than you would think. This goes back to our conversation around not spending enough time with members of our circles. Because of the lack of time together we can often find ourselves in positions where what we thought originally is not the case. This can be even worse with dealing with a local celebrity. They have been in business in your area for a significant amount of time. They have built a reputation good or bad, and often both depending on whom you ask. This will ultimately transfer to you if you are not VERY careful. I’ve lived through this and find myself being very intentional about who is allowed into my inner circle.

These are only 3 of the critical tips to consider when establishing your professional inner circle. This is not a task to be taken lightly. My recommendation is to also reassess your circle frequently. Ensure that the people representing you are a reflection of who you truly want to be. Grow from each other. Challenge one another to be an impact on the world around you. Your inner circle is what you will become. When you out grow your inner circle do not be afraid to reassess where you spend your time. It will lead you to the top of the mountain you are looking to climb.