Should you include a beheaded French monarch in your advertising?

Since nobody can afford to hire me, I've taken to writing ads for friends for free. It's rather entertaining and gives me something interesting to wrap my head around between jetting off to exotic locations to pass judgment on how they do things.

This is for a desk. But really, is it just a desk?

...............

Sure, Louis XVI had some fancy desks dripping with inlaid wood, jewels, and hidden drawers, but would it go up and down at the push of a button and give you multiple places to plug in stuff?

Could you write on the top with a dry-erase marker to chart out the invasion of Klusterfukistan, your new business plan, or charts and graphs of implements of destruction?

Nooo... Poor old Louis had none of those things and in the end, his head ended up in a basket. All the money in the world, King of a mighty nation and nary an electrically adjustable desk in sight.

The poor sap never had this Tresanti Geller 47” Adjustable Height Desk that brand new from Costco is $329 bucks at the very cheapest and they're flying off the shelves and YOU, yes YOU, can possess this marvel of technology and engineering for a mere $175.

You can even buy a fancy Louis XVI kinda looking desk chair with the money left over to mock the former King and show his ghost that you're one up better because you possess a Tresanti Geller 47” Adjustable Height Desk AND your own head at the same time.

I'd suggest you move fast because there will be tens of thousands of chanting peasants with pitchforks and torches chomping at the bit to even catch a glimpse of such a marvel. And look, I've even included a real-life photo of the lonely desk, askew in a home office with paint brushes and a random packing box to show the urgency of this sale. Yes, it's a moving sale in all manner of thinking."

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Advertising can still be fun but it usually isn't. It's rare to find a client that lets you do whatever the hell you want and create something far more interesting than the actual product. So I do it for free sometimes. And, as I was writing this piece on a lowly Facebook Marketplace ad, a bubble popped up asking if I wanted AI to write it for me.

The guillotine would be quicker and less painful.