[Verse 1]
Breaking Bad
I wanna tell y'all a tale about an awesome show and all of it's demented fans
Who talk about Walt and Jessie and Gus like they are all close personal friends
They blog and text and live tweet hashtags with the help of Chris Hardwick
And throw viewing parties where they take a drink whenever Jessie says "yo, bitch"

[Chorus]
Just try and watch one episode without ending up hooked
This show is more addictive than the meth that Walter cooks
What will we watch on Sundays when this epic tale is done?
Nobody gives a flying fart about Low Winter Sun (that show blows)

[Verse 2]
Everyone's got theories and conspiracies on how it's all gonna come to a close
Seems that every Tom, Dick and Mary thinks that they can write a hit TV show
It all ends with Walter back in chemistry class, the whole show is just him daydreaming
Well that's better than just cutting straight to black after playing Don't Stop Believin'
I think he'll survive the cancer, the cops and the gangsters and go right back to cooking meth
Yeah, and then when he thinks he's gotten away scot-free, his wife will just nag him to death (I hate her)
It should end with an epic kung fu fight between Mrs. White and Marie
Skylar will whack her with a roundhouse kick and say "put down my baby"
Yo, Walter is gonna use like science and stuff to like bring Gus back from the dead
And he could be a badass robo-Gus with like a half-Terminator head

[Chorus]
We cheer and scream when Walt says things like "I'm the one who knocks"
And we still find him likable, but, yo, he poisoned Brock
Hey, my friends, I've got a plan for this show not to end
Let's fly to Albuquerque and kidnap Vince Gilligan

[Verse 3]
What if Walter and Hank turned out to the same person?
Oh yeah, Walter is like Hank's Tyler Durden
Think about it, they are bald and have a similar face
And you never see the two of them in the same place
OK, Walter is dead because Jessie shot him in the head and escaped down to Mexico
One day he gets a box of blue meth in the mail and says "woah, who sent this, yo?"
Then Walt Junior shows up at his front door and says "hey Jessie, have you heard?"
He throws down his crutches, grabs Jessie in his clutches and says "I'm Heisenberg"
Yo, it was all an act, he ain't handicapped, that kid is just like Keyser Soze
Then his crutches become two sub-machine guns and he blows Jessie Pinkman away
Those are all of our notes Vince, you better get started
We gotta go find George R. R. Martin
Finish those books