[Intro: Todd Womack as Pitbull]
Mr. Worldwide! RedOne!
Got my very own song!
Nobody else
Just me, estas chicas, Dali Vodka, a snake, 305
And as always, Dale!

[Verse 1: Todd Womack as Pitbull]
Here's a special song I made it just for you
Did it all by myself its my solo debut
This time it's all mine
With my rhymes that don't rhyme
I think it sounds fine and no one else seems to mind
No more splittin' my checks up
I've made it to Mecca
Donde esta la biblioteca?
I'm just kiddin', I don't read
Now, what to rap about?

[Chorus: Mark Douglas as Marc Anthony & Todd Womack as Pitbull]
Since J-Lo said goodbye, all I do is cry
And watch romantic comedies
(C'mon man, we already did that song)
Why-ay-ay is she dating that young guy?
My kids tell me he's muy sexy
(You're messin' up my track, Marc Anthony)

[Verse 2: Todd Womack as Pitbull]
I said you could crash for a week, not a year
You ruined my sofa now it's stained with your tears
C'mon Marc I don't have time for all that
You're bound to find a booty that's just as fat
Have a Dali Vodka while I do my thang
If you a good boy, we'll go to PF Chang's
(Ha, more like PF Chi-changs. Tally!)

[Chorus: Mark Douglas as Marc Anthony & Todd Womack as Pitbull]
I just can't leave her behind, wish I could turn back time
But I don't the technology (knowledge)
Why-ay-ay-ay does your mouth go to the side? (Shut up)
Now even Pitbull's mad at me (I forgive you)

[Verse 2: Todd Womack as Pitbull & Mark Douglas as J-Lo]
You a rockstar man and you almost handsome
We'll hit the club later but you gotta put pants on
Lemmie rock this solo then we'll go hit the floor
Hang on a sec, lemmie just get the door
Hey Pitbull, imma keep it short
Just came by to get Marc's child support
Oh, Marc Anthony? Oh, he disappeared
He's definitely not anywhere around here
Cut the mierda, I know you're not alone
I could smell his nasty Brut cologne
Also the kids have to go to the dentist
I'll be too busy on Celebrity Apprentice (Donald!)

[Chorus: Mark Douglas as Marc Anthony & Mark Douglas as J-Lo]
I-I-I want to know when your heart died
Don't take another step towards me

[Verse 3: Todd Womack as Pitbull, Mark Douglas as Marc Anthony & Mark Douglas as J-Lo]
Both of you stop it, can't you just get along?
Come into my office and sit on the futon
Have a Bud Light and have yourselves a seat
Now tell me your problems but do it to the beat
He dresses like he on Fantasy Island
She's a fashion monster fueled by diamonds
I know how this relationship went off track
I've carefully researched and weighed all the facts
See, J-Lo's much more attractive than you
She a ten, you a two, let me get you a tissue
Sure, you got the money and all them Latin Grammys
But you look like a Hispanic Steve Buscemi

[Outro: Todd Womack as Pitbull, Mark Douglas as J-Lo & Doug Larsen as RedOne]
Who's that?
He played in Fargo
Oh my god, he does
Now if you'll excuse me, I got a solo to fix
Sorry Mr. Bull, I have to be home by six
Say what? DAAAAAAAAALE!