[Intro: Todd Womack as Pitbull]
Mr. Worldwide immortality
You'll know I'll never die
I rhyme bookie, wookie, Snookie, tickle, pickle and pants
But I don't know why
Gonna sing songs and bad raps until you fall down
And say "please retire"
But I ain't never going quiet and I'm on a Dalé diet, you should try it by the fire
I know you love me but you hate me but you love me but you hate me but you love me
And you don't know why
I'm like a little fancy baby or an alcoholic Furby and
I'm unfireable

[Interlude: Todd Womack as Pitbull & Mark Douglas as Pee-Wee Herman]
(Huh hah!) what are you doing here Pee-Wee?
This is not your theme song technically
I changed like a note or two
Now go on, scram!

[Verse 1: Todd Womack as Pitbull]
I saw, I drank, I sponsored
Or should I say, "I sponsored, I saw, I drank"
Ain't no way to stop me, señoritas really want me
Even though I'm 4 foot 8
Now chop-chop, cookie
Cuz I hired you to boogey
Dance faster or you won't get paid

[Pre-Chorus: Todd Womack as Pitbull]
See you later, gator, gotta find that little waiter
Who I pay to play the ukulele

[Chorus: Mark Douglas as John Ryan]
I got soul, and I'm superbad
I just stole that from James Brown because he's dead
You may ask just who I am (nobody)
They told me to show up here at 9am
I'm just some guy
Who might get fired
Fireable

[Interlude: Todd Womack as Pitbull & Mark Douglas as Pee-Wee Herman]
Sorry John Ryan, I'm going to have to let you go, you know
Ideally we would want someone who was good at music for this part
Dammit Pee-Wee, get outta here! (Ahh!)
Seriously, what do I pay my security guys for?
To stand around and look at the models?
That's my job

[Verse 2: Todd Womack as Pitbull]
Now, some young gun may sing on one
But that don't mean no thang
Cuz as a matter as per my contract
I make exactly one track per day (did we get it?)
It's time for another with that country brother
The guy from Let Her Cry

[Pre-Chorus: Todd Womack as Pitbull]
I told Hootie to report to me for duty
And he said "Aye, aye, but I can't sing high"

[Chorus: Mark Douglas as Darius "Hootie" Rucker]
I'm so glad for this gig
Do you remember '94 when I was big?
Sold out shows with my band (Los Blowfish)
And now nobody wants to hold my hand
I'm not retired
I just got hired

[Interlude: Todd Womack as Pitbull & Mark Douglas as Pee-Wee Herman]
Damn man, that's terrible
And that, that's something coming from me
I guess what we would describe you as technically is, uh
Fireable
Sorry Hootie, tell the Blowfish I said Dalé
Oh no, it's that part again (ahh!)
We forgot to put out the Pee-Wee traps (huh hah!)

[Bridge: Todd Womack as Pitbull]
You're gonna be the victim of a Pitbull attack
But the way you dress is so amazing, in fact
I think I have that suit, was it straight from the rack?
Hey, wait a minute, Pee-Wee, cuz I'm taking it back
How'd you like to sing with me on all of my tracks?
Cuz even though some people say your antics are whack
Just like me, you see you can never be sacked
And that makes us
Unfireable

[Outro: Todd Womack as Pitbull, Mark Douglas as Pee-Wee Herman & Mark Douglas as Darius "Hootie" Rucker]
(Huh hah!) Haha, that's awesome
I gotta get me some of them shoes (ahh!)
Now ge-get outta here, Hootie
You're still fired
Is there nothing I can do?
Nope (Okay)