[Verse 1]
Rachel was the prom queen
She moved to Hollywood to follow her dream
Of banging Jake Gyllenhal
Spends the day fixating on her minor flaws
She plans to take an acting class
But first she gets ass, lip, and cheek implants
She wishes she could get back
All the money she paid
For them to jack up her face

[Chorus]
Hollywood chicks with their puffed up lips
Got your eyelids done, now you look Asian
Hollywood chicks with their beach ball tits
Getting chopped up and tucked
Your lips look like a duck bill
Hollywood chicks don't know when to quit
It’s an addiction
Look at Meg Ryan
Who is giving chicks all these ducked up lips?
Well I guess it must be Dr. Asian Duck

[Verse 2]
First I make you feel bad
But like a bellboy I take care of your bags
Stretch your face and fix your rack
I may be a duck but I ain't no quack
You come in here with a normal eye
You leave with a looking like the Bride of Frankenstein
If you want to look like me
I can duck up your face for a nominal fee

[Chorus]
All of Hollywood look a-just like me
Make laugh so hard
Here, you take my card
All my patients will have to pay my bill
When they get duck bills
Plastered to their grill